Free to a Good Home

It was a nice, normal trading mission. No Wraith, no hostile natives, no problem. Of course the fact that Team One hadn't had a normal, calm mission in something like four months meant that no one was particularly surprised when John brushed his hand against a statue and vanished with a large purple puff of smoke. They were, however, a bit taken aback by the tiny horse that appeared in his place. Tiny plush horse. With Wings. And a rakishly disordered mane.

"Colonel Sheppard?" Sgt. Williams, the poor marine who'd come along for off world training, looked a little pale. The horse whinnied in response, tossed its head, then ran a few steps before taking flight. It landed on Rodney's shoulder and snuffled at his hair. Rodney squeaked.

"Colonel Sheppard, I insist that you desist immediately. My hair falls out quite well enough on its own." The horse-John summarily ignored him, and began chewing on his hair. "Oh, yes, that's right. Ignore the genius, make every attempt to make him appear insane. Just what I need, another trip to Heightmeyer. The least you could do is make some kind of a response. Or have you lost your reasoning abilities as well?" John paused, contemplating, then blew loudly in his ear. Rodney jerked, flinching, and John went back to contentedly chewing on Rodney's hair.

Rodney looked pleadingly at Teyla, only to find her struggling to maintain a neutral expression. Ronon had given up the effort. Rodney scowled. "Great. Wonderful. Be very amused while the fuzzy Colonel tries to rip my hair out. Very mature." He batted ineffectually at said annoyance. "That's it. I'm going home. Ronon, bring the statue. Teyla, make them tell you why this happened."

"Rodney, perhaps..." Teyla grew silent at his glare. "We will attempt to discern what has occurred and conclude the negotiations. You can inform Dr. Weir of what has transpired."

* * *

The natives had no idea what had caused the transformation aside from 'The Statue of the Horse God'. There were legends, but nothing of any use. One of the linguists had been quick to point out that John was a Pegasus, not a horse. As such he had become the new city mascot. He flitted around buzzing the Marines in the practice room, circling the gate room, and skimming the waves when the urge took him. Soon he settled into a routine.

Rodney, meanwhile, was working like a man possessed to figure out what had caused the change. It made sense, since John seemed to have adopted him as a keeper. John would spend hours perched on Rodney's shoulder or circling his head, pestering for attention. Of course, it was no use locking him out. Atlantis still recognized her favored son, it didn't matter that he was small and fuzzy. Doors opened at his whim, much to everyone's (Rodney's) consternation.

It took two days before John figured out how to make the rec room's video player work in his plush form. For the next 6 hours anyone entering was treated to the sight of an ecstatic blur of dark fuzz zooming around in front of the screen displaying the 'Hail Mary' game. Over and over. One marine made the mistake of trying to put something else on, and got a nasty bite to the ear for his trouble.

No one tried again.

Rodney was thrilled with the development, finally finishing what should have been a few hours worth of work when he'd started it. Two days ago. When the final diagnostics finished he let out a sigh of relief before heading to Elizabeth's office. She looked up, hopeful. "Tell me we can change him back. Because as much as he's cheered up moral, I want my Ranking Military Officer back."

Rodney flailed dramatically. "Well, to be cliched: there's good news and bad news." He proceeded without waiting for a selection. "The good news is, the change is temporary. From what we've been able to determine, it was designed to give the user an 'out-of-body' experience in a very literal manner. Unfortunately, we haven't been able to tell how long the change will remain. He could be back tonight, it could be next month. Carson's convinced it won't last more than a couple months, something to do with genetic decay. But then he also considers Medicine a hard science, so no telling what planet's month we're talking about."

She nodded. "I'll advise Major Lorne." Rodney didn't leave, looking uncomfortable. "Was there something else, Rodney?"

"Do you think there's any way you could convince the Colonel to stay out of the science labs? He's distracting. Miko keeps trying to pet him, Zelenka keeps talking about aerodynamic studies, and I've had two biologists ask permission to study his musculature in flight. In my lab. I can't work like this."

"Well what do you suggest I do, Rodney? Hmm? Lock him in a box? I won't condone that. You yourself said that this is temporary. It will end. So until it does, deal with it."

"But...but... Oh, very well. But just remember that you insisted I play horsey-sitter when the city blows up, or sinks, or something equally flamboyantly tragic. And did I mention that he keeps crawling into my bed?"

"Rodney? I'm very sympathetic. You have no idea how sympathetic I am that a plush Pegasus has decided to play teddy bear for you. However, there's nothing I can do." She looked frighteningly earnest. He'd have believed her, had there not been a rather spectacular twinkle in her eyes.

"Oh, right, mock the genius who keeps you alive. Very well, I see where this is headed. I'm going back to my lab to try to get some work done." He stalked out in a huff, leaving a carefully not-smiling Elizabeth in his wake.

* * *

It was a week later when Rodney woke up to an unfamiliar warm body in his bed. He took a moment to shore up his courage, attempt to recall the last time he'd had Athosian Moonshine, and whether it had hallucinogenic properties or not (it didn't, much to the dismay of the botanists who'd had a pool going. Botanists.). He looked down at the arm situated around his waist, noting the uniform jacket it was encased in, then lifted it and rolled over. Rodney blinked, squinted, and did everything short of reaching out and poking to confirm that yes, that really was a fully human John Sheppard in his bed. As Rodney watched, John's eyes opened and he stared blearily at Rodney. They widened, upon realizing exactly where he was.

John scrambled off the bed as fast as he could, only coming to a stop when there were several feet between Rodney and himself. "Who? What..." John stopped, took a deep breath, and tried again.

"We are never speaking of this again."

"Yes, good. Wonderful. Never. Understood." Rodney paused, mid-thought. "Since you're up, could you get me some coffee?"

~ Finis ~

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Author's Notes: This ficlet is for Nora Bombay who asked it after Rodneysaurus came out. It was also the first of my submissions for the 14-in-14 V-Day challenge put forth by Pru.

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